Some of you may have remembered I have been dealing with depression and suicidal thoughts... I had become a very upset and unhappy teenager. So I took a lot of my anger out on SSC, and sadly one of my friends suffered for it. I was in the chatroom with +Timmeh+ when we got into an argument about me not accepting help. I blew up at him and made him very upset. That's when I decided it would be good for me to take a break from this site and come back when I felt ready.
That's when I spiraled into a dive, I had become obsessed with anything about suicide, so I knew I needed help. My parents wouldn't help me, so I went to a very trusted friend and explained everything to their family, they understood and talked with me about the issue.
After that,things started going alright because they got me the help I needed. I have been talking with a friend of there's who is a "therapist." I basically got free sessions because they knew him. He has helped me get over my biggest issue, my addiction to self injury. It's been a really rough 2 months, but I started to feel a little bit better.
I'm still trying to overcome my depression, it's still there but not as much.
So I'm trying to change my outlook on everything such as life. But when I come back to the site and read a lot of my posts, I realized how annoying, immature, and how upsetting I really was. I really would like to apologize to all those who had to deal with my while I was going through this. I don't understand how I even got that bad on SSC, I didn't think anything of it.
But I realize how much of a family you guys really are to me, and I mistreated that. I'm surprised the staff put up with me, but I'm glad they did!
Because of my changes I realized I can finally be the person I always wanted to be on SSC. I'm coming back to post more frequently, and to also build a few coasters when I have the time. I will keep most of my posts related to coasters and whatever we decide to talk about in the longest thread and such. What I posted on here was really not the place to post the topics I was talking about when I was going through the thick part of my depression.
What I'm trying to say in short is that I'm going to be coming back to the site, I will be more responsible of what I post, and I hope to not only become a better member, but to also become a better person in general. I would like to apologize for everything I he done.
And also thank you SSC for not giving up on me, it's a great community that acts as a family and really makes me feel welcomed. I hope you guys want me back, because I'm ready to be here.
I can't wait to see what adventures happen down the road! I have a few coasters I am going to build planned, and this time I'll stick with it and not move from one project to the other. As I said, I'm working on being more responsible.
I'm going to try harder at being active, but I can't make any promises because I'm really busy with school and getting into a rock/punk band. But I'm going to be more responsible, and active than I was before.
I hope you guys are happy I'm coming back because I'm here to stay.
