5 replies to this topic

[Gvus]

Another life problems thread, I tried to keep my issues to myself so you guys don't have to hear it, but I'm done holding it in.
I don't know really how to start this, I don't really know a good title for this, so I guess I will just jump right in.
my days start fine, I have to get up pretty early but I feel fine. My first class is P.E. (In three weeks will change to CAD) so that is easy. Second is an fun class, but stressful with a lot of work. periods 3,4, and 5 are all boring with a decent amount of work, this is where my day starts to get a bit bad. My last class helps me feel better: Algebra. Math clicks for me, it is fun for me, I like the teacher, I sit next to the girl I like and get to talk to her about skiing, biking, music, whatever. My day really begins a downhill spiral on the way back up from the bus. It is about a 20 minute walk with a couple friends and one (Sorry for my language) Asshole. He can't say a sentence without saying F*** three times, he gets mad easy and when he is mad he starts punching people at random. Someday I know I will just snap and fight him, but I don't want that to ever happen.
By the time I get home I am in a bad mood, I ride my scooter around the driveway for a little bit to take out some anger towards the one kid. From hen to dinner time I don't do much, just normal kid stuff (go biking, find friends, ride my scooter). After dinner I do homework for a while, I hate homework and I see my brother in 11th grade with so much more work than I have and it makes me feel sick. The worst part of my day is after, when I start to think at night...
So now that I have bored you with what my day is like I better tell you why I am even posting this. I hate school even though I have good grades, I feel I have not true friends there and I have to change who I am for everyone, this is why I love my time in Algebra when I can talk to the girl I like, because I feel I can be myself. I have one friend outside of school that I can be myself with for the most part, but I still change when I talk to him. I feel some of the best people I have ever met were over SSC and I haven't even met them in person before (This made me cry myself to sleep last night a bit). Also, I feel like I am not good at anything, I am good at building not great, I am decent at biking, not great, I like scootering, but I am not very good, same goes for skiing and track, I never am dedicated to one thing and can never decide on one thing. I bet if I chose one of these things to try to be better at I could be pretty dang good at it, but I can never choose one thing. I am scared to grow up and be a boring person, a businessman, a salesperson, I want to make something with my life but I can;t seem to figure out how.
My brother is an amazing Crew rower and has one national races, this makes me feel like crap, My dad has been out of work for a while, my mom works full time now, they are both so stressed I am scared to tell them of my problems. My mom is sitting ten feet from me now as I type this, yet I am too chicken to tell her. I want someone to talk to but I am frightened to tell anyone, does that even make sense? My problems seem like nothing now that I read it but I hate my life right now! Does anyone know about problems like this? Is it a problem that I worry about everything? Or that I won't tell anyone? I just realized how much I wrote... Hopefully you guys don't think of me differently now that I have made this...
-Graham

[Connector1o1]

Just be want you want bro, I come from a simaular sitiution, and I beat myself up like you do to yourself. Just stop beating yourself up, every person carves there own path. I am not good at hardly anything, and my brother is a professional road cyclist.... Go figure.
The transition in school is more subtle than you think, I am in 10th grade, and I can tell you the hardest part for me was from 7th to 8th, dont sweat it. Talk to your parents and see what they have to say, I know it's hard to do that even though they are stressed, but sometimes they even forget there problems momentarily to talk with you. Dude, What's odd is that my life kind of sounds like yours, I'm not trying to make myself sound bad or anything, but I have similar situitions. I have yet to overcome my problems, so I can't be of much help. However, you sound worried. Don't be. Life is not so scary once you just i brace it and throw yourself in, but I have a problem with life because it doesn't like me. I hope you can feel better, and I hope is didn't make you feel worse, but just try to relax a little. It is so hard to, I know that. But you gotta do it, if you don't do it know, you will face larger problems later on in life. I didn't stop myself from getting worried, and now I can't stop thinking of ending it. Instead of coming up with coaster ideas, I come up with ways to kill myself. I'm sick of it, and I don't want it to happen to you man. I'm so sorry that is has happened to what seems like everyone, we all have similar problems. And Graham, you are good at something, talking and keeping others compony. There is no way you can't be good at something, instead you doubt yourself, like me. I don't feel like I have a purpouse, but life seems like it's starting to look up. Just hang in there, and you know that bully? Leave him alone. There is always going to be him somewhere, just leave him alone and it will be okay, even if he picks on you, just don't fight back and let it roll off. I have actually punched a kid for calling me a faggot, and I was so stressed I attempted suicide that night. Luckily, guess who's PM was there saying hello? Yours. Don't stress it, take life as it comes, and embrace it. I know I am bad at this, so I am going to stop, but what is helping me might help you. I am currently trying to embrace life right now and I have fewer problems. School sucks, I know. But just get it over with, and learn. I am homeschooled, so I can't say much on that subject, but just try your best and be happy, although it is almost impossible. Other than what I have said I have no idea what to say. I don't want to make your life harder by telling you something that isn't true. So I am going to stop writing now and say I'm sorry. I don't handle these very well, but I hope I helped. And I don't see you differently one bit!

[Spaghetti]

Dude, Don't let school take over your life. Take it from me. If you think all is lost, and you want to kill yourself, remember: Were always here for you at SSC. You can Skype me anytime. We can cheer you up with the power of K'nex! Middle school is the crappiest time of our life. And I'm pretty sure everyone knows that. I've always been mad at myself, but when I started acting like I had a cool life, Everyone thought I was cool even though I'm a coward to the world. So just use christmas break to cool down. And for that A-hole? Just walk across the street from him. Thanks for sharing your problems. I'm always here for you.

[Gvus]

Yes, I am coming back to this thread late tonight as I wait for west coast new years.
Winter break has helped me take my mind off friends and school some, but I still have that underlying feeling that I am not good at anything. With school starting back up in a few days I hope my problems don't get worse, but at least I get to see friends. I decided I am going to try to talk to the girl I like more, I don't care about being "friendzoned" because she is a great friend and that is kinda what I need now.
-Graham, with my last post of the year

[Gvus]

Well, double post and bump, but my last post here was kinda pointless.
I know I'm not using this thread for much, but an occasional post has been very helpful for my stress.
This may sound odd, but I have a bad feeling that if the weather doesn't get better soon I may end up punching a kid in the face. Now I better explain that... The main thing currently that brings me happiness, and helps me is biking, it is my main passion now even though I am no amazing rider. But currently the weather here has been so wet that even biking is not enjoyable, there is an indoor bike park, but it is more than an hour away. Without being able to bike much anymore, and school work getting harder, I just can't stand the one bully. Every time I see him I want to do something, but I don't want to get in trouble and I know he would come back as he is a big guy.
So anyways, tomorrow, rain or shine I gotta go for a big ride to clear my mind, I know that will help, besides that I just take each day as it comes and hope it all gets better.

[pkiknex25]

I know it's not the same as a skate/bike park, but go ride around on the streets or on a path at a park. It's better than nothing.