4 replies to this topic

[DDRman732865]

Sometimes, there is a story about conflict that is not quite good enough for its own thread, but too much for The Longest Thread, so that's why I made this thread. I don't know if it will last, I just thought it was a good idea. I'll start.

So tonight, I lost in a Euchre Tournament in the first round. This does not bug me. I've gotten over the fact that I have more experience than my two opponents combined x3. I can get over the fact they decided on best 2 out of 3 AFTER we obliterated them in the first round. But there is one thing that I am bitter about.

There is a kid in the dorms that I've had conflict with for a long time now. Tonight was especially bad. He was playing a different game and watching ours as well. I dealt myself a very good hand in the first round, and I got 4 out of 10 points right away. Which is when the "stack the deck" and "cheater" comments started. At first they were somewhat joking, but as the first round progressed, they got more serious and harsh. They progressed to how he wouldn't go within 100 miles of a casino with cash in his pocket if I was a dealer there, how I'm good at every single card game that exists ( which is apparently 3), and how he doesn't care who wins the tournament as long as it's not me. I'm paraphrasing, but not exaggerating. Some of these comments were laughing at me. Some he said with a straight face and a death glare.

Now I know exactly why he targets me. We've been living in the same hall for a few months now, and we both hang out with the same group of kids in the hall. He especially does not like the way I interact with other people. I don't always think about what I say, and I sometimes say things I regret. I'll admit that. Having said that, he takes anything I say and adds a remark that is blatantly to degrade me. Or I'll say something funny about myself, like I'll joke that I'm an asshole, and he'll emphasize it as an excuse to say it to my face, and to make sure everyone around is knows what he thinks. He's only ever gotten "mad" at me once, and it wasn't anything huge, he was in a pissy mood and I was messing around. The same night he told a girl he was going to punch her in the face (literally, not metaphorically). But he likes to make it very apparent that he likes to mess with me.

The one thing I'm not sure of is, am I overreacting? Am I over analyzing, and is he just an asshole? I don't really see him being this degrading to anyone else (except for one girl, behind her back, but that's an entirely different thing), I feel like he only targets me. Should I say something, or should I just ignore him? What would you guys do?

[Maxlaam]

As I'm the new kid in this house who makes the occasional arrogant remarks, it's no surprise that I'm the one who gets targeted here. Although, it's in a jokingly way, you're new, you know jack shit about college/university life, so we'll teach you how things work. Earn our respect by doing shit we tell you to. And I generally comply with such things as I can't really be arsed, but they know I can very well stand up for myself when things are about to go too far.

But that's entirely different from being targeted by a single person over and over again. I say he's a twat who just needs someone to pick on to make him feel better. An arrogant little douche. Your best move might be to ask a house mate who you do respect and who respects you back, what is his opinion on this matter? Maybe he has some advice for you.

Edited by Maxlaam, 27 January 2013 - 09:05 PM.

[pkiknex25]

I think bringing it up in the group of friends (without him there) would be a good idea. See if they've noticed it and see what they think. Or if they haven't, then they'll be looking out for it once it's been brought to attention.

[Jumpge]

I would have to agree with talking to him, other people, etc., but then again, why put the time and effort into someone like that? I am actually dealing with a similar situation (obviously not in college), but the only difference is that my situation is that someone is just genuinely rude to me since day one that I met him.

But the thing is, if he is being rude to you then why put any effort into him? If you show that you want to solve the problem to him then he knows it is getting to you and will want to do it more. So pretty much just ignore him. You don't have to ignore him entirely, but keep conversation limited. If he says "hello" merely say "hey" back. It's that simple.

[DDRman732865]

As I'm the new kid in this house who makes the occasional arrogant remarks, it's no surprise that I'm the one who gets targeted here. Although, it's in a jokingly way, you're new, you know jack shit about college/university life, so we'll teach you how things work. Earn our respect by doing shit we tell you to. And I generally comply with such things as I can't really be arsed, but they know I can very well stand up for myself when things are about to go too far.

But that's entirely different from being targeted by a single person over and over again. I say he's a twat who just needs someone to pick on to make him feel better. An arrogant little douche. Your best move might be to ask a house mate who you do respect and who respects you back, what is his opinion on this matter? Maybe he has some advice for you.

We're all freshmen in a first-year hall, in a dorm on campus, so he doesn't have that advantage. Thanks though.

I think bringing it up in the group of friends (without him there) would be a good idea. See if they've noticed it and see what they think. Or if they haven't, then they'll be looking out for it once it's been brought to attention.

That's a good idea. I was apprehensive about confronting him, this would probably work better.

I would have to agree with talking to him, other people, etc., but then again, why put the time and effort into someone like that? I am actually dealing with a similar situation (obviously not in college), but the only difference is that my situation is that someone is just genuinely rude to me since day one that I met him.

But the thing is, if he is being rude to you then why put any effort into him? If you show that you want to solve the problem to him then he knows it is getting to you and will want to do it more. So pretty much just ignore him. You don't have to ignore him entirely, but keep conversation limited. If he says "hello" merely say "hey" back. It's that simple.

It's not that I want to be friends, I live down the hall from him, so there's really not much escape. But I will try your advice in the meantime, thanks.

An update. So apparently the reason he was giving me shit is that I'm a good Euchre player and he didn't want to play me, he told me that. I can understand, but I still think he was over the top. I'll ask some people that were around tonight what they think.

Edit: I forgot to add, I left the room right after the first round to do some homework. I came back about 45 min. later, and the first thing he did was flip me off with a smirk on his face.

Edited by DDRman732865, 28 January 2013 - 12:14 AM.